Exam - "MIRROR MONOLOGUES" - Fall 2020

[Prof. Sindor Aloyarc]

"Ten Scrolls” / 1000 words (60 points)

Please submit all work to hiddenpowers[at]mugglestudies.org with the subject “Exam – Your HOL Name”

Your task for this Examination is to write a Reflective Essay on this past semester. Each of the four Powers (Faith, Hope, Courage, and Love) must be incorporated in one fashion or another with a minimum of 125 words apiece. The other 500 words may be spread out as you please across each of the energies and/or within an introduction and inclusion, etc.

Perhaps there will be a general theme or through-line to your composition with some primary topic or theory you’d like to delve into. Maybe each area will be entirely different, or you’ll compare and contrast one thing against another. You could write about what has impacted you the most overall in one or many sections, or discuss what has come up for you over the course of our months together within all the different Modules and across any interactions you’ve shared with me and your classmates.

Has any part of your life been drawn into a greater sense of harmony and balance, or have you thought of any new ways of approaching how that might happen? Feel encouraged to include how other experiences here at HOL (past or present) or in other parts of your offline world might be incorporated, or if your perspective(s) on anything has changed over time.

Trust that whatever is internally craving to be worked into the mix will let you know. In many ways, if you’re tuned inward and listening with an open mind and heart, the Essay will mostly write itself! So long as you conduct yourself under HOL guideline then there are no accidents, coincidences, or mistakes here. If you wish to share your Essay, go ahead and below. In any case, I hope you’ll have some fun with it!

[February Fortescue]

“Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change.

- Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out.

- Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure

- Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same.”

― Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives

'Life is a paradoxical teeter-totter.'

- February Fortescue


Therein lies the keys to the universe.....

We are born to have faith in the universe with its rules and laws. It's in our very nature! And most of the time they never let us down. Gravity is a law we can all depend on. We never have to think about the law, but simply take it for granted. There are biological and mental health rules and laws we know can count on as well. When a surgeon does an appendectomy, for example, they know what to expect, because the human body is very similar from patient to patient. We also know children need a nurturing environment in order to grow up with good mental health.

But universal rules and laws are paradoxes. Yes, we depend on gravity, but what if you decide to travel to the moon? Gravity doesn't apply there, and this "law" may not be a universal "law" after all, but only applies in some situations, but not in others, where the complete opposite may apply. Two genders were possibly created so the species would continue, but what about when some males and some females are romantically attracted to the same sex? This also seems to occur at times in "nature" as well.

And rules we have taken for granted can change. Suppose we are accustomed to eating a large dish of chocolate ice cream most evenings and never gaining weight, but after several years the number on the scales begins to climb steadily upwards? As we become older, our metabolisms change and often slow down, so we have to choose between continuing to eat that chocolate ice cream every night and accept the weight gain, give up the ice cream and maintain our weight, or perhaps make changes in other areas of our eating or activity. Another aspect of change is simply that we don't always know all of the universal laws even though we think we do, and once we discover more about our world, our understanding may change as well.

While I believe it is important to know and understand the laws of the universe and the rules our society expects us to follow, it is perhaps even more important to know ourselves and who we are as human beings. Each of us is average in some ways, but a paradox in several others. We must have faith that we can be exactly who we are meant to be, paradoxes and all, and that the universe will support us and we will have loved ones who care about us.
Hope is another example of a paradox: the paradox between pain and pleasure. Remember a child's teeter-totter, which has one long board, with a small balance in the center, and one side is up while the other is down, in equal measure? Pain and pleasure are on opposite ends of the teeter-totter. In my previous discussion, I mentioned my 450 relative. He gets both pleasure and pain from his massive food intake. How is this possible? Well, the food initially tastes quite pleasurable in the first two or three (and maybe even four) bites, but soon he has over eaten and his stomach starts to hurt and he feels exhausted. Later in the week, his weight continues to gradually climb upward, until pain in the primary feeling overall, which he soothes with more food so he can feel pleasure in the short term, which again turns to pain. All of this from one meal!

Hope is the reminder that, if he is willing to reverse the two and accept short term pain for long term pleasure, then perhaps he can lower his weight to a more comfortable number for him, feel better physically and emotionally, and be more productive towards his goals than he currently is. If he will accept some calorie restriction, which will be painful in the short term, the pleasure in the long term will be worth it, I think. This would require a significant lifestyle change and requires hope that these changes are worth the work and the investment, because weight loss and denying your appetite and its pleasures is very hard work!

Change requires courage! You are trying to change the very rules you have accepted for yourself for a very long time, after all! Courage is another paradox between pride and shame and permitting the two to co-exist at the same time. I'm thinking about my 450 pound relative again. It takes considerable courage to embark upon a weight loss journey! Each step of the journey and reaching towards each goal he sets will be as if he is sitting on a teeter-totter. Pride is on one end, shame is on the other, and he is in the middle. Choosing to exercise will feel shameful at first because he won't be able to do very much physical activity, because of his weight and how his muscles have atrophied, but he will also feel pride because he has made a good, solid effort towards himself and his goal. He values himself and is doing something productive about his health issues.

Of course, this also involves change, because as his weight loss increases, his pride will increase, and then he will need to balance his pride with humility at times. He will be very pleased with what he has accomplished - and deservedly so! - and will have to keep his sense of self-importance in check. He could slip up and return to his old ways. He could also alienate other people. He will not always be perfect in meeting his caloric and exercise goals, and he could be too hard on himself, falling back too hard into shame, which could also motivate him to give up. You see, I believe the more pride you feel, the more shame you will feel as well. The teeter-totter is balanced perfectly.

Love and Grief are also on two separate sides of the same paradoxical teeter-totter.

When thinking about my obese relative, even if he successfully arrives at his chosen weight and loves the life he is now able to live, part of him may grieve for the ability to eat freely and to sooth his pain with an unlimited amount of food. It may be a constant struggle for him for many years.

Love, however, is perhaps the strongest force in the universe. I've heard this many times, and I agree with it. The more you love someone or something, the deeper your grief will be. One thing I have discovered about grief, however, is if you love with your whole heart, and allow yourself to grieve fully in your own way, you will be able to love again. If you block the love or the grief, you may become stuck in that moment, and never move past it.

Both feelings are important and must be respected. When you have someone around that you care about, allow yourself to love that person. Love is powerful and can be the biggest motivator to a good life that exists. If that person you love should ever leave you, allow yourself to grieve fully. Don't ever deny your grief or wish it away.

Enjoy the paradoxical teeter-totter ride of life to the fullest!